Monday, February 14, 2011

Ring the Bell Already!

"Throw in the Towel Already!"
I have to be honest,  today I feel like throwing in the towel. 

What do I mean? Well allow me to explain.

 My blog has been well recieved; I thank all yee loyal readers.  At least I think it's well recieved.   I have had 2000 views(not including mine)in 34 days.  I am uncertain if this is good or not. However, it is nice and I feel honored that people check it out.

I hope PWD are gettting something from it, and this is why I write it. I try to write in a positvie tone, but I believe it is equally important to be transparent, honest and have integrity.  

Allow me to present an analogy:

Diabetes to me, is like a boxing match, and I feel like "Rocky" getting  the crap kicked out of me!  Like, ten rounds of just taking a beating. I try to fight back, I get back up, I pull myself up on the ropes, I await the bell so I can get advice from my corner.  But then the bell goes off again and I am out there battling some massive, seemingly unbeatable opponent.  In this case it is Diabetes.

Diabetes is relentless; it never, ever, goes away. Its the first thing I think about in the morning, and the last thing I think about before I go to bed. Not to mention my 2 type 1 kids. I work with diabetes and as of late I blog about it too.  What am I getting at?

Over the week-end someone I deeply repspect mentioned that I seemed to be obsessiong about my blog.  At first I was defensive then I thought about it.  I do think about it(my diabetes blog) a lot, but it's new. I am constanlty thinking of ways to improve it, videos, cool titles, interesting topics, pics, etc. But... is it too much, is it an obsession, should I unplug, is it therapeutic for me, is it effecting my ability to be a husband, worker, father, friend? 

I am left pondering, is there too much diabetes in my life. Job, Blog, Vlog, Networking Sites, My diabetes, My kids Diabetes, now strangers (no offense) diabetes. Am I  (as my loved one hinted at) obsessed about it?

I just don't have an answer. I have thought (with a deep pang in my gut eating at me) am I doing too much?

Do I go another round, or do I wave to the coach to throw the towel in and end the match?

I know this is a crappy post to put up on V-Day, but I feel the need to be  honest.


obsession (Definition)
1. (Psychiatry) Psychiatry a persistent idea or impulse that continually forces its way into consciousness, often associated with anxiety and mental illness
2. a persistent preoccupation, idea, or feeling
3. the act of obsessing or the state of being obsessed
obsessional  adj
obsessionally  adv
Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003


Lora said...

When I first started blogging about a year and a half ago... my husband didn't "understand" my need(or obsession if you will) to blog and read the blogs of others. A few comments were made... a few heads were bitten off, but in the end I think he realized that it became my therapy and I DID need it.

I spent 10 months before my blog feeling alone, spinning into a darkness that became more unhealthy everyday. Sounds silly, but blogging and finding friends(even if they live in my computer) saved me from a place that I couldn't find my way out of alone.

I don't obsess over it anymmore, but it is a place I can come to when I need it. I am thankful for that.

I hope you find the answer you are looking for.

Valerie said...

I think you can only do what is right for you...if it feels like blogging and reading other peoples' blogs is interfering with other important things and people in your life, then it could turn into an unhealthy obsession. However, diabetes is something you think about constantly because you have to be aware of so many different things in order to keep yourself healthy. I think it's good to have an outlet and have a community of people who understand what you're going through and who might also benefit from the things you blog about.

Anonymous said...

I can relate to this post a lot. In my year of blogging I've found that it can be easy to become obsessed with it and have diabetes take over my life. But, it has been an awesome way to share my experience and find the support of other PWDs. Good luck figuring out what is best for you!

Jonah said...

I think the question should be whether or not this is thinking about diabetes in a significantly different or educational way. If this blog does nothing but cover topics and ideas already discussed ad nauseum with your kids and wife... okay, no point in rehashing.

If you need, therapeutically, to have a different kind of outlet to talk about diabetes... then maybe there's a need.

Reyna said...

Trev...I know you'll figure this out. I too have been there. I have only been blogging for a year, but I love it. It has been like "therapy" for me ... and... I think the readers like knowing they are not alone...and they like that I am a "freak show"...LOL.

I have been really enjoying your work.

P.S. I thought about you when I took the kids to the Dentist today - haha.

Gerry S. said...

I see where your coming from and I say keep going. Blogging becomes a habit and to a non blogger it looks like, what's the point? I too have thought like that when I don't get any comments forever but I have to keep reminding myself, this is more ofva diary for me and my family as oposed to an update site to the outside world. I also purposely made my blog not to be about D as I live it everyday, and to be just about everyday stuff, but if something comes up D related that's worth a mention, then I'll put it in my blog.
Keep going but throw in some other funnies, D is always part of something that happens, right? This can be good or bad, I like to go with good!!
As in good luck Trev......

Shannon@ The New Normal Life said...

Ive just discovered your blog but I like what I see so far :) I say enjoy the therapy and have fun!

Anonymous said...

Only you can decide whether it;s too much for you or not. But I must say, I really enjoy reading your blog & hope you continue! I find your post informative & witty.